


absolute

by morisoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Blood, Romance, mild blood kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-28 09:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14446530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morisoo/pseuds/morisoo
Summary: Between a long line of lovers gone and to come, Baekhyun wanted nothing more but to stand out.





	absolute

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #: M160  
> Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol  
> Monster(s): Vampire  
> Rating: NC-17  
> Warnings:Mentions of blood, mild blood kink (kinda)  
> Word Count: 5,458  
> Author's Note: shout out to mod vamp, the most patient mod ever <3  
>   
> * **This work is pure fiction. It's in no way an accurate representation of any of the members. Thank you.** *

Baekhyun smiled. Chanyeol was giggling and whispering sweet nothings in his ear, heavy arms and legs entangled with his own and with the faint touch of fangs over his earlobe. The usual warmth of Chanyeol’s body after sex tended to stick for at least two minutes before cooling down to its usual brisk sensation. For Baekhyun, his cold body wasn’t bothersome anymore, nor his eeriness nor his  _ meals _ , but he still liked to sink into those other mild and ordinary moments better.

Somehow, they made him feel different, and at the same time, they managed to bring a sensation of normality to the relationship, at least for a second. 

“Kiss me,” Baekhyun whispered fondly, and perhaps a bit desperate, as soon as Chanyeol’s body gradually lost its warmth. Ironically, it was that sense of reality that made him lose the grip of logic he still had on his mind.

Loving Chanyeol wasn’t easy, but it was the best he could have done. He was reminded of that as Chanyeol took no time to leave a trail of soft kisses from his collarbones to his lips, teasing with a gentle press of his teeth onto his neck halfway, which made Baekhyun feel giddy once more. It was just when the kiss became sloppy again, with his tongue brushing Chanyeol’s fangs, dragging it along their length, that he sighed and crosses his arms around the other’s neck.

Baekhyun swore then, when he believed that his warmth was enough for both and his heart was about to burst into tiny bloody pieces to splash all over Chanyeol’s body, that he would never let him go.

Bloody, huh? He didn’t know where that picture came from, but the idea of blood had become less and less gross and unsettling since the very first time they met, when Baekhyun found Chanyeol  _ having dinner  _ at the park one midnight.

The sight of blood dripping from his mouth, along with fangs,  eyes that seemed to be wine red and a plastic bag with blood in his hands should have been a warning signal, an indication for Baekhyun to step back. But he never ran away from the unsettling but stunning scenery. 

He couldn't. 

There had been something particular in Chanyeol, something that glued his feet to the ground then but was still deeply engraved in his eyes whenever he looked at Baekhyun. 

It could be the tingle that Baekhyun’s whole body felt when Chanyeol’s dark eyes scrutinized him; maybe it was the feeling of danger at the back of his mind every time Chanyeol grinned, showing his fangs. 

But Baekhyun knew it wasn't just that. 

It was how Chanyeol, despite his obvious dangerous nature, was everything Baekhyun couldn’t have expected.

Gentle, like the soft smile he was giving. Devoted, like the hands that run through Baekhyun’s hair. And overwhelming, like those hugs that comforted every part of Baekhyun at a reach. 

Baekhyun didn’t understand it first, but at that moment next to Chanyeol, he knew it had been morphed into something else. Stronger? yes, dangerous? maybe, worthy? without a single doubt.

But it was, truly, love. 

-

The next morning when Baekhyun came back to the bedroom with a just made sandwich and opened the curtains slightly, he realized the day was rainy and windy. The sky was filled with dark clouds that barely let the light pass through, but that was still enough for Chanyeol to groan in discomfort and bury his face under the pillows. 

Baekhyun snorted, sat on the bed, patted Chanyeol’s naked butt, which still had the bite mark from last night, and ate peacefully. 

Despite his nightlife style, his dinners and his looks, days with Chanyeol were calm and soothing. He had taken the necessary precautions to never bring Baekhyun to buy his meals, that were from the hospital nearby, nor hurt him, ever. In return, Baekhyun had adjusted some parts of his routine, especially the change of his work shift, to spend more time together.

They were already settled, Baekhyun guessed, as he realized about the couple of years they had been living together.

“It's raining,” he mentioned, rubbing Chanyeol’s back with a circular motion, hoping it would be soothing. Chanyeol only hummed, burying himself further under the pillows. “Come on.” Baekhyun snorted, shaking him just slightly in order to wake him up. “Are you going to pull that I'm 569 years old card now, old man?”

“408, kiddo,” Chanyeol muttered, but despite his hesitancy, he was the first one to get up and dressed for the occasion. At dark days, the ones in which Chanyeol could come out comfortably to the streets, he still liked to dress up covering each possible part of his body. Then, he was dressed in all black, jeans and turtleneck, with glasses and even a wide hat. 

The pier was one of Baekhyun’s favorite places to be, since he enjoyed the view of the sea and how soothing it was to just stare at it, even in silence. 

And so he did, while Chanyeol was taking a few photos of the view, like always. 

Baekhyun wasn't sure why he liked to do that, since he had too much time to stare at those simple details for many years, but that was one of Chanyeol’s hobbies. His house was packed with albums everywhere and Baekhyun was still flattered there were some of himself there. 

Loving someone like Baekhyun wasn’t easy either, or at least that’s what Baekhyun used to think sometimes. A great amount of those thoughts, intrusive and distracting, had been wiped off by Baekhyun himself with time. Sometimes, Chanyeol would catch him right there between them and brush a few as well. 

Chanyeol was no savior, neither Baekhyun; Chanyeol wasn't the safest option, probably Baekhyun wasn't the one either, but what they had made both happy enough to nurse it. 

“What?” Chanyeol chuckled, slightly embarrassed after Baekhyun had stared at him for long. The latter hadn’t even realized about it, too lost in his train of thought.

Baekhyun shrugged anyway, reaching for Chanyeol’s back pocket to bring him closer. Chanyeol wasn’t shy exactly, but at day, he wanted the less amount of attention he could get, and that meant he used to be hesitant when it came to public displays of affection at any time before eight. Still, he complied and grinned slightly, with that kind of smile that melted Baekhyun’s heart so easily. 

“Oh dear,” Chanyeol said as he placed his arms on Baekhyun’s shoulders, probably feeling his butt being squeezed. “Are you going to be glued to my butt the whole day?”

“It depends.”

“Depends on what? It still hurts, by the way,” he joked about that bite he got last night. “You don't have to take the expression  _ ‘eat ass’ _ so literally, just so you know.”

“Someone has to bite in this relationship anyway.”

“Well, I would never bite you,” Chanyeol smiled widely, bumping his nose with Baekhyun’s before placing a quick kiss on it. 

His tone was soft and caring, but the honesty of his words made Baekhyun’s heart drop for some reason. It was as if some kind of weight had been put over his mind, heart, and stomach, dragging his mood down in an odd way.

But he couldn't think further than that, because Chanyeol was already hugging him, nuzzling his neck. And that was so odd of him to do at bright day, so Baekhyun embraced him back, trying to sink into the moment again.

“I guess it’s alright,” Chanyeol muttered. “At least I know you love a part of me.”

“I love all of you,” Baekhyun replied, but that uneasiness feeling persisted. 

-

Baekhyun began to suspect what the feeling could be later, when both were laughing their asses off over a damn vampire movie that Chanyeol had seen a lot of times. 

It was between the laughter and cuddling, when Chanyeol’s giggles were so contagious and he was hugging Baekhyun so tight and close to him, that Baekhyun understood it all. 

The feeling was longing and the overwhelming hope to stay just like that forever. But the forever felt so out of reach for someone as mortal as Baekhyun.

Chanyeol, who had spent a great time already alive, would have one, but it wouldn’t be with him.

Baekhyun was just one person, who would live with Chanyeol a handful of decades, at best, but just that. After him, and even before him, there would be someone else. 

-

If Baekhyun had to be honest, felt out of place, perhaps slightly sick, but he wouldn't let Chanyeol notice that. He had been the one to push Chanyeol into letting him go to the hospital at midnight as well. 

The visit didn't last long, they barely entered by a back door and another man had a bag ready to sell. Baekhyun saw the slightly embarrassed look from Chanyeol, with a bit of guilt in there, as he paid for the bag and both came out of the place.

That worried gaze remained even when they were both sitting on a bench at the park in silence for what it felt like hours.

From the corner of his eye, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol’s hesitant fingers play with the corners of the transparent bag in nervousness. With the faint light of the moonlight, he was able to see two things, that Chanyeol was hungry, and even more, that Chanyeol felt a strong shame for that. 

“If you are hungry, you should eat,” he whispered, caressing Chanyeol’s tight for support. When Chanyeol didn't even try to move, he sat closer. “It's alright.”

“No, it isn't,” Chanyeol replied and his low tone made Baekhyun feel guilty. He didn't mean for Chanyeol to have a bad time like this, he only wanted, wished, to become even closer with him, by facing one of the few things he was still scared of. 

Baekhyun didn't want to be forgotten, and thus, he needed to be special. 

But the way Chanyeol kept hesitating, made Baekhyun realize this process was already difficult for Chanyeol, more than what he expected. Probably even without Baekhyun there, it would have taken Chanyeol some time to finally accept it and  _ eat. _

“You have to know I don't like to do this,” Chanyeol said, his gaze still fixed on the plastic bag. “But if I don't do it, I don't know what else could happen. I have this  _ need  _ that I have never managed to cease, and this is the most peaceful way I have to handle this.” 

Baekhyun stared in silence, with a plethora of heavy emotions in his heart. Some of them were known, but some came from nowhere. He didn’t fully understand the implications of Chanyeol’s dinners, nor he wanted to, but some of the fear disappeared as he tried to remember who was the man next to him.

He was no monster, despite the folklore, the myths, and legends. He was merely a conflicted man with pain in his eyes, which Baekhyun was so willing to disappear, but wasn’t sure how or if he could. Let alone with the time they could get together.

How long could it be? 30 years? 50? 70, at most? 

“I don't want to hurt people,” Chanyeol confessed, and Baekhyun tried to swallow his guilt and worries. It was necessary for him to focus on Chanyeol’s feelings and Chanyeol’s only, at least for that moment. 

“I know you don't,” he replied softly, holding Chanyeol’s face between his hands. “And you are not hurting anyone here.” He wasn't sure about that, but he needed to make Chanyeol believe in his words. “This is the best you can do, isn't it?” Chanyeol nodded. “Then keep it… I won't tell a soul.”

Maybe it wasn't the best moment to joke, but the trace of a smile from Chanyeol made Baekhyun believe he was on the right track. 

“Aren't you… Scared of me? At least a bit disgusted?”

“I had never sat at the park under the moonlight to eat a hospital croissant, I can say that.” Chanyeol chuckled, still with his shoulders slumped and a worried gaze. Baekhyun took the opportunity to place a kiss on his forehead. “But I am not scared. I know you, Chanyeol, and the fact that you do this to avoid hurting anyone cannot disgust me.”

-

Maybe kissing Chanyeol after he drank who knows how many liters of blood wasn't his best idea. The taste of him was sharp like metal, the consistency of what was left on his teeth was fucking up his mind. 

He didn't like it, but he wasn’t hating it either. That last part was the scariest, but what else could have he done? After looking at Chanyeol giving him a weak smile when his meal was over. Baekhyun’s adrenaline and strong affection apparently didn't make a good combination. 

Maybe having Chanyeol against the kitchen counter wasn't his best idea either. But with Chanyeol’s pants down and Baekhyun already on his knees, there was no time for second thoughts. 

Baekhyun liked to tease, give a kiss or two to the tip of Chanyeol’s cock, sometimes even give it a lick before dragging his tongue along all its length. Chanyeol seemed to enjoy that too, since at that moment, he was already mewling and grabbing Baekhyun by his hair. 

Gently. 

Baekhyun smiled then, because the picture of Chanyeol, who still had blood stains on his clothes but was trying to not pull Baekhyun’s hair too hard, was amusing. 

“You are a big ass softy,” Baekhyun chuckled, hands reaching for Chanyeol’s thighs to grip hard. 

Chanyeol grunted but before he could retort, Baekhyun gave another quick lick.

“Stop teasing,” Chanyeol warned with a deep low voice that made Baekhyun halt in place, as if it had turned on something on his brain. 

His cock twitched, just slightly, and one second later, he was already taking it all inside his mouth, squeezing Chanyeol’s inner thighs hard enough to hear the other moan. It felt right, the grip of Chanyeol getting slightly harder as his muscles shook, the warm feeling inside Baekhyun’s mouth and even the musky smell combined with the blood of the scene.

Baekhyun gagged for a second before pulling back, enough to softly scratch his teeth along the base. He looked up for a second, just to check if he had hurt Chanyeol by doing so, but the sight of Chanyeol’s face filled with pleasure reassured him.

He took half of it, and bit.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol groaned, which made Baekhyun stop and pull out, but not without brushing his lips with it once more. “What's with you and all this biting lately?”

“Want me to stop?” Baekhyun asked in the lowest tone he could mutter, trying to get a chance to bite Chanyeol’s thighs at least. But Chanyeol didn't answer right away, he merely pulled him up by the hem of his shirt to give him a kiss.

It was later, when Baekhyun was fucking Chanyeol against the counter and the only thing he could think of was to leave another bite mark, that he realized he had been expecting for Chanyeol to do the same. 

With other, more profound implications.

-

Baekhyun wondered if there had been a reason for Chanyeol to never even try to bite him. He wanted to believe it was because Chanyeol could hurt him if he did so, rather than Chanyeol not wanting to make him immortal, and thus, spending a life together. 

The thought wasn't as easy to forget. Nights, days, weeks passed as Baekhyun would wake up instinctively touching his neck and wondering why. 

He didn't want to ask, because although it was haunting for him and worried him, the last thing he wanted to do was making Chanyeol uncomfortable. 

Baekhyun loved him, as he had never loved anyone else, and the simple idea of being loved back as much was addictive. He could not risk it, not for his insecurities. 

Or his fear. 

Baekhyun was afraid, terrified, by the idea of being forgotten by Chanyeol. He was desperate to know if he would be around Chanyeol’s mind in ten years or two hundred, or for an eternity. 

Baekhyun  _ needed _ to assure he would be remembered, not only as a lover, but as a nice summer breeze, as crystal clear laughter, as a warm afternoon after rain. Baekhyun  _ had  _ to be remembered as someone special, forever. 

That's why he ran his hands slowly all over Chanyeol’s body, to imprint on him the feeling of his fingertips, taking his hands to place them on his face, for him to trace every detail with his own. That's why he looked at Chanyeol so intensely, to remind him of how much he was loved and how much he would mean, forever. 

That's why the next time he was on top of Chanyeol, sinking the other into him, he moaned his name loud and clear. 

“Watch me,” he demanded, dragging Chanyeol’s attention towards his body, rising up and going down. 

He talked then, small sentences combined with curses, moans and ‘I love you’s in hopes his voice would stay.

And if all of that wasn't enough, Baekhyun made sure Chanyeol had enough pictures of him for his albums. That was Baekhyun’s very last hope. To remain in paper, as alive and happy as he ever felt next to Chanyeol. 

-

The night sky used to make Baekhyun’s decision to change his sleeping schedule easier. It was beautiful to stare at, with the stars twinkling slightly and the sight of the moonlight creeping from time to time. It would be easier to appreciate it out of the city, but at the apartment roof, lying with Chanyeol at his side, Baekhyun couldn’t ask for anything more.

“I hate this phone camera so fucking much,” Chanyeol muttered, trying to get just another picture of the sky, as if he didn’t already have albums dedicated to it and even framed pictures around the house. Baekhyun liked to compare their house to a museum, which made Chanyeol smile widely.

Baekhyun snorted then because Chanyeol preferred to stick with his phone rather than to look for a good camera.

“If I move, I will lose the angle.”

“Want me to get it for you then?” Baekhyun asked, though a little bit hesitant because he was really comfortable there.

“If you move, I will lose the inspiration, Baekhyun. Don’t you dare.”

Baekhyun chuckled, but despite the warning, he moved closer to Chanyeol. The latter didn’t protest, but did push away the bag of blood that was at his other side by a few inches. With the sight of the stars and the soothing words, Baekhyun had forgotten all of that started as his idea, to have Chanyeol in a more comfortable place to have  _ dinner _ .

He needed to put his mind somewhere else before he could get on top of Chanyeol to either ride him or fuck him. The adrenaline of those nights wasn’t wearing off, instead, it was growing. And while Baekhyun wouldn’t get bothered by it at the moment, the idea of having tasted blood from Chanyeol’s lips wouldn’t leave him alone after a couple of hours. 

There was another thought which then occupied his mind. As he watched the stars and with the awareness of staring at something infinite, Baekhyun couldn’t help but think about his ephemeral own life. It would have an end, and while he wasn’t worried about it ending soon, everything in his life would be measurable. 

Baekhyun’s life had been good, not perfect nor free of flaws nor free of regrets, bad moments and memories he would rather forget, but it had been pretty decent until now. Out of 26 years, he barely remembered 20 years with clarity. Out of those, he had countless good memories and the realization of its finite made him appreciate them more. If there was not going to be something else later, maybe the next years, being 50, 60, more, would have more meaning then.

Maybe, being a mortal was the best he could be.

But through his life, he had had many relatives, friends and some lovers. And thinking back at that, he wasn’t able to remember them all perfectly. Only a few were still on his life at that moment, and even counting those who didn’t, the number of people he remembered and thought of with affection wasn’t actually great.

Out of 26 years only… and Chanyeol had more than a thousand. 

That made him worried once again, if he had been doing things with Chanyeol the right way. Months had passed with him trying to be that one light and swift breeze of his life, the one that was worth to be remembered, but would it work? 

He hadn’t been accommodating to everything the other had said or wanted to do, but to leave his own wishes and personality behind to be remembered doesn’t look like something healthy either. Chanyeol liked him already, with his flaws, stubbornness, loud mouth and other things he wanted to keep under the carpet but were discovered anyway. 

Then, if he wasn’t willing to change and Chanyeol didn’t want him to change either, was that going to leave a special mark in his mind still? Baekhyun needed to know.

“Have you…,” he started without him realizing it. He didn’t know how to continue that, but it was too late, Chanyeol was already looking at him curiously. “Do you…,” he gulped, with the knot on his throat growing with each passing second.

He wasn’t sure how Chanyeol would take a question like that. Baekhyun had never, not a single time, worried about who came before him in any relationship he had ever had. However with Chanyeol was different, Baekhyun was sure of that whenever he looked at Chanyeol. Not only because Chanyeol would probably move on for an eternity, but also because with him it was love.

Tender, real, full of intensity, and despite the reality, for Baekhyun it wasn’t temporary. It was boundless and everlasting, and it would stay like that forever, even when he was gone. 

Maybe it was selfish or a childish way of thinking, but Baekhyun wasn’t jealous or angry of the situation. It didn’t matter if Chanyeol would be with someone else later, it didn’t matter if he would  _ love  _ someone else later. Baekhyun only wanted a piece of him to stay, he wanted his sempiternal love to leave a mark, a proof that it was there and that it beat under his skin. A sweet memory of him loving Chanyeol, for Chanyeol only.

“Before me, did you have someone else?” he asked finally, with some kind of weight leaving his shoulders. 

“Yes, I did,” he simply replied, as if it hadn’t been such an important question. Maybe it wasn’t such a big matter, but Baekhyun refrained himself from asking how many or about his very last lover. He didn’t actually care about them.

Silence engulfed them both, but something told Baekhyun that being speechless but still staring would only make the question stand out, and probably, give a hint to Chanyeol of what was happening.

He couldn't help it. 

“You should eat already,” Baekhyun muttered, trying to ease the conversation into something else. Chanyeol looked slightly confused. “They say blood tastes better fresh. These are pretty hot days. That’s all.”

Chanyeol snorted, but didn’t comply.

“What's wrong?” he asked instead. The sight was beautiful, with the stars on the sky and the faint light of the moonlight highlighting Chanyeol’s lovely details. The rooftop was never charming, but even Chanyeol knew how to change that.

“Do you remember them, your past lovers?”

That question seemed to surprise Chanyeol, but just for a second. 

“I do, each one of them.”

-

Chanyeol had a storage unit, that Baekhyun knew since whenever the albums started to pack the house, he would take them there. 

But as Chanyeol opened the unit, realization dawned on him that it wasn't just filled with albums, not even with these years albums. It was a room full of things from different places, different years, different decades. 

Baekhyun was still amused by the view when his eyes landed on shelves, full of different albums. Unlike the other ones Chanyeol had, labeled with years, these didn't even have a name. 

But Baekhyun knew. He wasn't the only one living in paper. 

“Can I see them?” Baekhyun asked out of curiosity, but Chanyeol shook his head. 

“They could hurt you.”

“I'm not jealous if that's what you think,” Baekhyun knitted his eyebrows, slightly pissed Chanyeol would think that was him acting possessive. 

“It's not that,” Chanyeol reassured. 

Baekhyun could see then, the gaze filled with melancholy that came from Chanyeol. When he looked at Baekhyun, it grew stronger. 

Maybe he already knew the outcome of this. Maybe he also regretted Baekhyun wouldn't be there for an eternity with him. 

Baekhyun hoped it was that, because then it hit him. Not only would Chanyeol stay after him, but Chanyeol wouldn't age. He would live looking like a man in his late 20’s forever, those albums were probably the prove.

While Baekhyun couldn't care less of appearances, the sight of aging next to always young looking Chanyeol was difficult to process. Without putting so much thought into it, he had always imagined his life with Chanyeol as normal as it could be, with a family even, and now, that picture was slipping from his fingers.

As Baekhyun looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, he thought that fact wouldn’t change his feelings, but what about Chanyeol’s? Baekhyun was scared again. And the picture of a happy and slightly normal life then? Would that be possible?

Something in Chanyeol’s eyes told him this wasn’t the first time he had been through a similar situation. 

“Baekhyun,” he muttered, but when he tried to reach the other, Baekhyun couldn’t even react, haunted by everything once again. They stood in silence then, for what it felt like hours, probably trying to find what to say to each other and guessing what the other was feeling.

For Baekhyun, it was pure duality. While he truly felt love for Chanyeol and it was strong enough to try to overlook the thousand scenarios that could go wrong, he couldn’t stop but look at those albums again, wondering how his own would look like after a couple of years. Couldn’t stop thinking about how the idea of sticking with Chanyeol would mean sleepless nights, midnight meals, worry and a few reckless actions for the rest of his life. 

That was perfectly fine for a 26 years old Baekhyun, but he had seen it before, how young spirits never last too long. Probably one day, he would need to settle down, he would have different necessities than at that moment, things that he wouldn’t be able to get with Chanyeol.

Suddenly, there was a picture in his mind, of himself finding the first grey hair on his pillow, or finding the first permanent wrinkle on his forehead. He must have become crazy, because the picture of Chanyeol at his side then was still endearing.

It made him feel as if he could then work something out again, but those hopes vanished when Chanyeol finally spoke out.

“This isn’t the first time this happens,” he says and Baekhyun’s chest tightens. He doesn’t want to be compared to the other times, and it feels as if Chanyeol is trying to find pieces of his past lovers in him. “And with time, I have come to accept that, because of what I am, relationships never last long. Not as long as I would want them to, at least. Some have been short, some have lasted decades, but I can assure you Baekhyun, that even if they don’t last, the feelings stay.”

“And why it had never lasted forever?” Baekhyun asked, trying to decipher why, if Chanyeol looked so affected by those albums and those people, that he never tried to make them like him. “Can you do that?” Chanyeol hesitated, enough time for Baekhyun to understand he not only could, but he knew how to. The betray he felt was probably unjustified, but it was there and he needed answers.

All this time, he had expected to be truly special, and while he tried to not care about being the only one, the thought of not standing out was crushing him. “What are you waiting then?” Baekhyun asked irritated. “To find the one or some kind of shit?”

“I have found the one,” Chanyeol told him, which made the situation more ridiculous. “But I can’t do it.”

Baekhyun was speechless, having found the kind of answer he had expected for so long, but with an outcome he didn’t want. Was it so special to be the one if Chanyeol knew how to keep it that way but wasn’t willing to do it? Was Chanyeol being honest then?

“You don’t want to be immortal, Baekhyun.”

“Says who?” Baekhyun said, but stopped from blurting all the frustration and sadness that was growing with each word. 

“You don’t understand the implications of it. This is not only about you and me sticking together, it would have repercussions in your life you would never fully recover from.”

Baekhyun tried to listen, watching Chanyeol struggle with his own words. His feelings were so intense, but Chanyeol’s words made him feel distant of everything at that moment. He was shutting down from it, because he wasn’t as ready for an answer as he expected. 

Baekhyun wanted to run away.

“A part of you dies, Baekhyun, a part you will never get back. I don’t want that for you and I won’t do it.”

Baekhyun needed to run away.

“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol said, with such a sad look in his eyes that Baekhyun had to stop breathing to not leave him alone. “I’m so sorry.”

-

“I need time,” Baekhyun managed to say still. Both knew what he meant.

With Chanyeol silent at the background, Baekhyun stood up from the bed, took a shower to clean himself not only from the blood on his body, but from Chanyeol’s touch. He ran his hands over his body, picturing the thousand times Chanyeol had done the same, realizing once more that his mark wouldn’t leave him alone, ever.

He dressed up and made a fast backpack with the things he would need for a trip. A trip he had been thinking so long to do, but never got himself to do. Until that moment, he was still unsure about even dressing up for it, but he needed it.

When he turned around, Chanyeol was sitting on the bed, still undressed, hair made a mess and body with a couple of stains and bite marks. 

He was still young and slightly eerie, ethereal for Baekhyun, like their first years together. Those felt like some kind of dream, one that was about to end up as soon as Baekhyun stepped out of that door.

There was time for Baekhyun to regret it, and even more time for Baekhyun to come back after that trip. 

Looking back at Chanyeol for one more time, he realized that’s what both wanted, for Baekhyun to return to him after he had taken enough time to process everything that was happening. 

He enjoyed then, the sight of Chanyeol with his heart totally open for him to see, with the amount of love, affection and want Baekhyun himself had felt for him in those dark eyes. Feelings that never ceased to exist, even when Baekhyun passed his 20’s.

That didn’t mean those intrusive feelings of the years passing and an eternity not being there for both disappeared. They were as strong as ever, even when Chanyeol was finally standing next to him.

Chanyeol held his face gently and stared in silence. Baekhyun imagined then, that he was trying to remember every small detail of his face, just as Baekhyun had wanted all this time.

“I had the feeling that this time you would pick this,” he whispered, “and maybe next time, things can be different.”

Baekhyun didn’t understand the weight or meaning of those words, he didn’t even want to. Instead, he only wanted to sink into those affectionate feelings once more, to be loved once again and feel that everything was working in some kind of different dimension. In another life maybe.

At that last moment at their old house, he didn’t know if he would actually come back, and Chanyeol didn’t know either.

“I love you,” Baekhyun said, giving Chanyeol a quick kiss. One that wouldn’t last long enough or else he would stay, like what both were used too.

“Me too,” Chanyeol replied, and just before Baekhyun closed the door, he added. “Until forever.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and yes, it's kind of an open ending.  
> One final note: usually, dicks shouldn't be bitten, thanks for coming to my TED talk.


End file.
